Hi y'all.. I know my last post was a sad one, boohoo.....but I was going through a certain phase..Lets just say its over now en am now and am back..Yay!!...so wat have I missed???....
For me..Hmm.....Well...
You know how having a blog is somehow a lame excuse to share about things that one is going through or their opinion of stuff..emphasis on 'sharing' :-).... Well!...so I thought this might help someone one day. I don know I found myself asking people how they dealt with their break up, it kinda was encouraging to face mine, and all had different views but similar endings, time heals all wounds!!..so not that am wishing anyone this, you know me..I wish you all nothing but Total Bliss, but in case you are ever in this situation.. may be my experience will help you move on.....
Anyhoo..I myself went through some different stages..here, let me take you through my stages....
Denial - Lately you notice
that things are not the same with your partner… you've come to realize that there
you are starting to feel a lot of emptiness and there is a lot of talking back,
start noticing that things aren't going to work out unless you enjoy getting
the "silent treatment". Ultimately, and as hard as it may seem to
accept at first, you need to master up the courage and face the fact that
things aren't going to work out, your relationship is coming to an end.
The Crappy Part - Once you realize that your life will be different, that you have
to rearrange everything that you had planned together. You go through the phase
of cry into your pillow for some nights and
agonize about what's going to happen next. Your life may seem over, but trust
me, time heals all wounds and even a broken heart will mend over time. This
stage sucks :-(, but its vital believe me. DO NOT hold in your hurt, you'll
only feel worst later on and don’t blame yourself for anything it wasn’t your
fault..plizzz!! cause once you go down that road....., you might will look down on yourself and settle for the next thing that comes your way, remember your worth!!
Realization – Okay, so now it’s finally sinking in and then you realize you
can never call them to tell them of how your day was and some damn thing that
only they once got... or, at all? What if you start to miss them? What if they
don’t miss you? You might start to think maybe it wasn't a good idea to break
up after all. And then you have an epiphany, of course it was a good idea –
their love for you died..so it might have started with one person but
eventually the relationship wasn't working out. Don't call them!! remember you
broke up for a reason. Just because you miss them doesn't mean it'll be great
when you see them again. Just keep reminding yourself why you broke up in the
first place and DON'T CALL THEM!
The Rage - That *********! I
treated them like gold! en nkt..nkt!! lets not even go there (It sucked being left for someone else btw)... This is the most critical stage - Bitterness. You list
all their annoying traits that you once thought was actually cute. At this
point instead of wasting your day in bed watching old reruns of some sad chic flick
movies or stressing yourself over and over again over the break up you get out
of bed and dress to impress. Now that you look good and feel great you can actually say and believe, "if
they don't want me, that's their loss, not mine, and you open yourself to the
many possibilities that life has to offer" (Pain will leave you, when you let go). Over time you'll start missing
them less and love yourself more (The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud). Keep yourself busy with new hobbies, work and hang out with friends that you once
neglected. There is no point feeling sorry for yourself when there is a whole
world out there waiting for you with plenty of new and exciting people to
meet.
THE CRUSH - Over time you'll
begin to realize that your ex isn't the only one in the world. Wow!..I know right..
There's some damn fine peeps in your city. The point is, once you're able to
open yourself up again, other people will want to get to know you. Even if
you're not ready to start an intense relationship with somebody else, get out
there and start having fun again. You'll get over your ex a lot faster if you
stop moping around.
FREEDOM! -You
haven't thought about your ex in days, (well it's a start) and maybe one day just maybe there
they are strolling down the street with someone else, and your stomach doesn't
lurch and your face doesn't even turn red. Once the encounter is over, you
stroll away proud and tall and don't think about the encounter for more than 10
minutes ever again. (PS. Have they put on weight? hehehe...I mean). You smile, because
now you know you are finally free and ready to open up and love again.
This is my experience of my broken heart. Although some stages
may be longer than others, mine was short cause I came to accept the reasons why it came to an end and there was no reason to agonise about it any more so it didn't make sense hurting over them...the important thing to remember is, you WILL get over this. If someone doesn't love you anymore or you
don't love them, there is no point in staying together even if it hurts to
break up. Over time the pain will heal and you'll be ready to let others in and
share your wonderful self with them. If they break your heart, learn, feel
(because it's important to be human), and live again. just because one
relationship didn't click, doesn't mean that there's not another person waiting
close by to snatch you up.
Finally you need forgive them remember True forgiveness is when you can say, "Thank you for that experience.. don't compare them to the next person.., no need to shut yourself out in ever finding happiness again.
Now you are on your way to finding your Total Bliss!!!
PS..this is the last sad post...Total Bliss is about finding happiness in all that we do :-)....
Have a happy day!!!
